Marriage & Mission Continued (a year+ later)

This week I was digging through some old blogs trying to find this pumpkin bread recipe. Why I only seem to have it in blog form astounds me! Anyways, I stumbled on this blog post from a year ago on Marriage and Mission.

When I originally wrote that blog post, I was in the mindset that we were looking for one set-in-stone mission and then we could happily go forward knowing what that is. In the last year, my ideas on mission has changed because God has changed it. General ideas have stayed the same, i.e. Mission is about giving Glory to God. The day-to-day look of mission (and calling) has more flexibility which is kind of scary-cool. Can that be a new adjective please?

Mission:
1. a specific task or duty assigned to a person or group of people:
2. a person's vocation

At the beginning of 2011 we were feeling called to leave the church we had been at for 5+ years. For a period of time we allowed (or I definitely did) fear of the unknown keep us where we were comfortable. Fear is kind of a funny thing, because it took a while to realize it had the ruling grip in our life. When we finally admitted that fear of the unknown is not a reason to stay put, we began to put the wheels in motion. We knew where we were being called to: a smaller church that loves on the community it is in. We just didn't know the name. Our 'church search' was comically representative of the times we live in. We had a list, we listened to sermons online (online stalked), narrowed our list, tried one and God confirmed for us that is where we were meant to be. Well, that was easy! What was all that fear business about?

Being in a new church community where we are becoming known puts us in a whole new position - being open and vulnerable. As we become known we are also figuring out how we are going to serve the church and the community. We have to continually raise the question of what is our mission.

A year ago I wrote that we were sure that "service, community, and mentoring" are important components of our mission. Today we would also add that giving our time, talents, and treasure which are from God - back to God. We also want to be intentional in how we serve. Our pastor talks about wanting the church to invest 1 inch wide and 6 feet deep as opposed to 6 feet wide and 1 inch deep. We like that concept and we're trying to use that as we pursue our mission and calling both individually and as a couple.

As we move towards the season of giving thanks (which is more than a season in our book), I want to say that I am so thankful for an alive and loving God that is moving in our lives. I am thankful for God's providence and for opening this new chapter for Paul and I to grow in our mission as a family.

Day 10 - Checking In

I feel so thankful for the emails, texts, phone calls, prayers, etc this last week! Today I actually felt human. No weird physical jitters, no headaches, no nothing!

In general, during the past week, each day has been an improvement on the last. The physical side effects have decreased significantly which is great.

Paul mentioned last night that during this last week when I was in the first few days of no medications in my body - I was in no way like myself. I cried if he looked at me oddly. Or we'd be laughing about something silly, but then in the next moment I would think the topic was hurtful and start crying out of no where.

I am very appreciative of the community that we've enjoyed this last week. On Saturday we spent the evening at our friends Mark and Marin's and had our new friends Darrick & Beckyjo join us for a fun evening of food and games (one of which was an awesome game of telephone with the little ones). On Sunday we went to lunch with people from our new church community and in the evening we did a dinner with our community from our old church.

It is a blessing to not only have a wonderful husband who has walked down this same path that I am currently treading on, but also to have such great community to share this experience with.

I am feeling very hopeful as I press forward!

Day 3

Well, taking my last post into account, it may seem like a good idea to rid of all toxins in my body. Okay, that could be a hard venture because I am not sure of what all is a toxin!

I have however been in the process during most of 2011 to taper off of my anti-depressant - Effexor XR. I originally started this drug 7 years ago! About 4.5 years ago I made a similar attempt to stop taking the drug. I honestly have little recollection of how that went. I know I tried to do it in a shorter amount of time and I also know that I wasn't "off" the drug for very long before starting it again. I wish I had taken better notes.

After doing a very slow and very gradual taper of the drug, I am on day three of not having it in my system and it absolutely sucks. I have been thinking something is wrong with me. I had been thinking of just starting the medication again, but then I started doing some Google searching on the effects of tapering off Effexor XR and it is pretty disheartening and astounding. By far, my side effects seem manageable compared to others.

Effects that I am feeling:

• Bradycardia - Heart Rate is slowed from 72 beats per minute, which is normal, to below 60 beats per minute in an adult.
• Nausea
• Dizziness
• Light Headed
• Anxiety
• Confusion
• Crying Abnormal: Though I would say my crying is justified, Paul has a different perspective ;)
• Jitteriness
• Irritability
• Electric Shocks - this is the hardest to describe, the best I found is that it is an electrical jolt feeling that tends to run from the base of the neck up to the lower part of the skull.

I read tonight (and I don't have an actual source) that 1 out of 10 people are unable to get off of antidepressants due to the withdrawals. I googled "Tapering Off Effexor XR" and reading other's experiences has been pretty intense.

I'm optimistic but definitely in need of prayer (as is Paul) as we go through this process.