A factor in making that decision were concerns over how long it might take us to get pregnant. No one had ever told me that I would have difficulty getting pregnant, and I never had a medical diagnosis that would lead me to believe otherwise. But I also knew that if I was only having a few periods a year (if that), it probably wouldn't be easy. So I ditched the birth control and that was the start of the most challenging, painful, difficult, fruitful, stressful, frustrating, isolating, hopeful and emotional three years. During the last three year years I have had the joy of finding out I was pregnant twice, and the heartache of losing both of those pregnancies. You can read about those losses here. In that time, I have struggled with depression and with isolating myself. Subsequently our marriage has moved back and forth between periods of struggling and flourishing.
In September of 2013, we began working with a fertility clinic to get help. In theory we knew that if I could ovulate, I could get pregnant. The difficulty was getting my body to ovulate. The fertility specialists were able to confirm my diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). PCOS can look and play out differently for women. The explanation that I understood the best is that each cycle, my body produces more eggs than an average women. This confuses my body, and it chooses to not participate in the process of selecting an egg and ovulating. While that might be an over simplification of PCOS it was the core of my problem. The specialists were optimistic that with a combination of drugs, HCG shots and timed intercourse (yes a schedule) we would get pregnant.
We began our 1st cycle of drugs in November 2013. I plan to write a separate blog soon about that process. It was in some ways easy, and in others was extremely difficult. The process and the medication took both a physical and emotional toll.
The long and short though, is that at the end of June 2014 we had a positive pregnancy test. It was again surreal, and though we both wanted to be excited, it was difficult to feel like we could. The following week (at 5 weeks pregnant) we took off for Europe. Knowing this pregnancy was not guaranteed, we decided to keep our travel plans. It was a good trip and time to be together. We of course thought a lot about being pregnant, but also we were able to keep ourselves distracted by exploring new places.
Once we returned home, we had an ultrasound at 6.5 weeks which went well, and then an 8.5 week ultrasound that also went well. We kept taking the pregnancy day by day and had a great 14 week ultrasound and then another one at 20 weeks.
So this Thanksgiving, three years after we started this journey, Paul and I are thrilled to share that we are expecting the arrival of Baby O in early March. This season of pregnancy has been challenging and full, but also so very sweet. I look forward to sharing more of this season, both the challenging and the sweet. We are so unbelievably thankful for this miracle.
Below are a few photos we took recently, thanks to our friend Jessica Valle.
Below are a few photos we took recently, thanks to our friend Jessica Valle.
