Anything but Resolutions


When I (Charity) was single I would always take time to write about my “Reflections and Resolutions”. I have always loved starting a new year. I love the idea of starting afresh and changing ways. Even if January 1st really isn’t that different from December 31st. It is the concept of change that resonates with me. My resolutions were always a mixed bag. I might have something about losing weight, or getting healthy, or ditching a relationship, or making better choices with relationships – or all of the above. The thing was, that within a few weeks of the year I would have forgotten my resolution. Or keeping them became too hard. Or, I just stopped caring. And out the window they went – until the next year that is.

Now when a new year starts I don’t think much about resolutions (other than hearing what everyone else is doing). Though, I still love the idea of change. And the funny thing is that not having resolutions feels both freeing and at the same time sad. Sad as in, what are my goals for the next year? What do I want to accomplish?

As we entered into this new year, Paul and I found a wonderful middle ground. At the end of 2012, we sat down over steaming mugs of chai tea, warm tomato soup and a salad to talk about 2012 and 2013. We had a list of questions that we had separately spent a couple of months thinking about. We took three hours and hammered out the details. At the end of our time we had a roadmap for 2013 and goals for each of us. What I like about this is that we’re on the same page. We know and agree on our goals as a couple and our separate goals. We can encourage one another. We can point out when something will not align with our goals. These are not just fleeting resolutions.

We also built in a quarterly check-in system to talk through our notes and see where we are at. Are things working? Why are they not working? Do we need to change course?  Below is a list of the questions that we worked through. I highly recommend it! And if you’re single – find someone that you can ask to hold you accountable. Find someone willing to check in with you quarterly, someone who won’t mince words when it comes to speaking truth!

Here is a snapshot of the questions we worked through. Do you have specific questions you think or work through when a new year starts?

Re-look at our monthly budget break down.
Is the budget working?
What needs to change?
What is our plan for saving?
How much are we going to tithe?
How much are we going to spend as an offering?
What spiritual areas are we going to focus on as a family?
How do we add more prayer into our daily routine?
Where do we want to serve/volunteer?

Who are the people we are investing in?
Who do we want to start investing time in?
Who are we being mentored by?
How can we add more margin in our schedule so we can spend more time together?

What big trips do we want to take?
What small trips do we want to take?
What are our fitness goals?
What are our lifestyle goals?

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