FOMO

Fomo (via UrbanDictionary.com)

noun
a state of mental or emotional strain caused by the fear of missing out.
• Evolutionary biology - an omnipresent anxiety brought on by our cognitive ability to recognize potential opportunities
• A form of social anxiety - a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity or satisfying event, often aroused by posts seen on social media websites.
ORIGIN: acronym from FEAR OF MISSING OUT

The first time I heard the term FOMO I realized that is me (Charity) in a nutshell. This Fear of Missing Out started in college. I was anxiety ridden that I might miss out some event or some gathering of friends. I would have the hardest time closing my dorm room door. If the door was open, others would know I was in my room and available to hang out. A closed door meant they might forget about me. Actually maybe my issues aren't around missing out, they are about being forgotten about.

Ten years after college, I have found another avenue to plug into these fears, and that is on Facebook. I have this almost compulsive behavior around Facebook. I am chronically checking it to see what others are doing, is there anything that I am missing out on? And then when I do see something that I think I should have been included in, my feeling are hurt. It is a weird lose-lose cycle.

The weird part, I have a great life. Sure it is not perfect, but it is my crazy imperfect, wonderful life with an amazing husband and a super cute dog.

I think for the longest time, I have been telling myself that Facebook is a source of community. But when I deactivated my account last month, there were probably close to 500 "friends" and that is not my community. Case in point, as I have been struggling these past six months with our 2.5 year journey with infertility, Facebook wasn't a safe place I felt I could put those hurts or be honest. So what is the point? Good question, I'm not sure. In the last month though, I have heard from about 6-7 friends out of 500 to see how I am doing. That is my community.

So while I'm off of Facebook, I'm thinking a lot about what my presence will be going forward. Paul and I talk about doing a joint account together, or I am thinking about narrowing down my friend group to the 50's. Or, do I want to be on Facebook at all? Does not being on Facebook, force people to pursue me and vice-versa? Does it allow me to live my life more authentically (the good, the bad, the ugly) and walk along side others that are living their life authentically? 

I suppose I still have a few more weeks to think this through :)

Here we are!

Here we are in March. And almost mid-March! Last week I had a kiddo in my office lamenting about how fast it felt like life was moving. It's rare to have a kid think life is going to fast. Usually they're lamenting about the slowness of life. I had to chuckle to myself, I wanted to say something about if you think it is moving fast now, wait until you're 31 almost 32. It just flies by.

Speaking of work, I transitioned into full-time at my school about a month ago. I had been hoping that a full time position would work out for next school year and then BAM there was an offer. I have to say, I am missing my Mondays & Fridays. That being said, I cannot complain, Spring Break is less than a month away.

The last few months have been confusing for Paul and me. Yet, I could not pick anyone better to ride the waves of confusion. I'm spending some time during the Lenten season to take better care of myself. That included deactivating Facebook. It's amazing how often I think to myself I don't have time to be in the Word regularly. But the crazy thing is, all those minutes on Facebook add up. Suddenly I have time to do a daily devotional, pray more frequently, and even blog. So that is where I am at.

Here are some of the highlights of our 2014.

Our PTown cousins came and visited for a weekend in January. We walked a lot, talked a lot, and played a ridiculously long game of monopoly while they were here.

I went to my 10 year college reunion (speaking of time goes by too quickly) and connected with my former adviser (and favorite professor) Dr. Smyth.

We celebrated the Seahawks winning the Superbowl. Paul was even able to make it to the freezing cold parade! I'm so glad that the year I picked to be more interested in football was the year the Seahawks won! Maybe I'm a good luck charm? Just sayin!

Paul and I were able to sneak away for a lovely Valentines Weekend. We hopped in the car, drove 20 minutes and were treated to a wonderful experience at the Woodmark. We enjoyed getting away and even took a couples painting class to try something new.

 (View from our hotel room)

(Our masterpiece!)

We enjoyed an awesome double date with our friends Angelo & Sarah. We went to dinner and then to see the a cappella group Pentatonix perform. They were amazing to see live!

During my Mid Winter Break I was able to relax and do quite a bit of reading. I also had a special day hanging with my buddy Gus. We went out to breakfast, the pet store, the dog park and then of course we had to have ice-cream! Gus & Charlie are best buds!

One of our highlights from February was being a part of our dear friend Justin's wedding. We had a lovely weekend celebrating the couple and the start of their new life together!

 (This was the practice dinner so we'd know what to do on Sunday!)

(Justin is Married!)

Another highlight in February was heading up to Suncadia for a church retreat. Paul and I were only able to hang out for a day, but we had a blast while we were there. Highlights including cramming 10 people into a Land Cruiser and sledding for the first time in YEARS! Boy did I hurt the next day. Here are a couple photos from the amazing Jenny Linquist Photography. Check out her blog while you're at it. You will fall in love with her photographs! The picture of me and Paul sledding together makes me smile every time. Shortly after that picture Paul fell off the sled and I went hurtling down the hill backwards. Good times!

 (Photo Credit: Jenny Linquist Photography)

                                                (Photo Credit: Jenny Linquist Photography)

2013 Highs and Lows

Oh poor blog, once again I have neglected you. When I wrote my last post on transitions, I probably should have known that the energy to blog would disappear for a bit. Alas, I am back. I thought I would start the year with a couple of easy blog posts and at least start with the Paul + Charity 2013 in review.

2013 was the year of learning that I (Charity) lack control in this life, and that God is looking out for me.  A serious car accident in February help me realize that though I seek control, and I often believe I have it - it only takes a moment to see that I have only been fooling myself. That God is the only one in complete control. My little car was crushed between a van and a SVU, but amazingly I walked out with bruised shins and a hurt neck - nothing that couldn't be healed.

Then a few weeks after the car accident we learned that I would miscarry another life. I had gone into this second pregnancy believing that because I had done everything right, we would be successful at starting our family. Again the idea of control was ripped out from under me. I have no idea what God is doing in that area of life, but every day is a reminder to trust and surrender.

Paul and I did some major traveling in 2013: San Francisco, Portland, D.C., Den Haag, Amsterdam, Rome, Venice, and Barcelona (+Vegas and Texas for Paul). Where do I even start with highlighting these experiences? They were amazing and filled with joy. They allowed us to grow our relationship deeper and to interact with the world on a level we don't often get to do. I am thankful that Paul desires to see the world and that we'll keep on exploring together!

In the midst of all our traveling, 2013 was the year that friends and family came and visited us! It started with my cousin Lisa and her daughter Izzy, my sister Destiny and her husband Kevin, my bestie Raena, my mamasita, and Paul's aunt and uncle.

2013 was the year of new opportunities and challenges. Paul spoke at his first technology conference in Texas - the Big Android BBQ. Paul also received a promotion to Principal Software Engineer and then made the leap from that to a management position. And it was a good year job wise for me too! 2 years and 3 months after I graduated with my Master's degree I was finally offered a School Counseling position. I said goodbye to the YWCA after 7 years and have been loving the transition!

Other random notes: Paul ran a half marathon after entering only 7 days before the event,  he ran his 2nd 200 mile relay race (so he still loves running), we moved our new couch in through our second floor window and didn't cause any damage, we celebrated 3 years of marriage and 5 years of dating (or a faux anniversary as Paul calls it), we took our first (and second) cooking class, we started creating urban adventures (long hikes around the city), and went to Charity's first NFL game (Redskins vs. Cowboys).

The final highlight of 2013 is recognizing great friendships. We are surrounded by wonderful people in our life but very blessed to share the ups and downs with our friends the Kaetzel's. Mark + Marin challenge and encourage us as a married couple, as parents, and as friends. Over the last 20 years we (Paul has a 15 year head start on me) have been able to grow closer with them and they really are family. Plus, if you can survive B&B 2013, you're bonded for life!

Transitions

Just as the temperatures are dropping and leaves are changing - Team O is in transition too. Life currently feels like it is moving at a crazy and hectic speed. We're holding on and trying to take it one day at a time.

I started a new job! After two years of looking and interviewing I finally have a school counseling job. I am working at the middle school level which is great. This middle school is 6th through 8th which is fascinating. A 6th grader is SO different than 8th grader! I see kids running around half my size, and kids taller than me with facial hair. Whoa!

I am a .6 counselor which means at this time I only work at the school 3 days a week. That definitely brings pros and cons. A pro is that this schedule is allowing me to transition well out of my position with the YWCA. I'll finish up there in about three weeks. I'm thankful that I can be of service, but I am also looking forward to having that time back. I will be able to use my Mondays/Fridays for research, refreshing myself on hot topics for middle school and putting time into planning the rest of this year at the school. I am thrilled! I'm also honestly overwhelmed. I've had some tough issues come through my door, and it is often scary that people think of me as a professional. But I'm in it and definitely pinch myself quite often to make sure this is still real!

Moving on to Paul. After nearly 14 years of being a professional software engineer as an individual contributor, Paul is taking a new position with his company. He will be moving into a management position where he oversees 8 people managing his companies cloud operations. His new official title is Manager Cloud Operations and Engineering. This is a major switch from what Paul has done in the past. I am so excited for him and though it will be a big challenge, I know he is up for it.

In addition to the position change, Paul is presenting next week at the Big Android BBQ. This is the first professional conference that Paul is presenting at. Much of his time the last couple of months has gone into developing his presentation.

And this is a taste of the exciting things going on with Team O.

Other fun things during September:

A visit from Paul's Aunt & Uncle.
Lots of fun dinners with friends old and new.
A trip to the State Fair with the Kaetzel Pretzels!

A Brazilian Cooking Class Date Night (thanks to my SIL)

Lots of snuggle time at the house.

My Meet Mrs. Oremland Poster that is now hanging outside my office door!

That's a wrap!

{Sister Visits}

I'm writing this a month late and while helping my mom learn how to create a blog! Talk about multi-tasking :)

In July my sister Destiny and brother-in-law Kevin came through Seattle for a few days on their way up to Alaska! It was so much fun playing tour guide for both of them. This happened to be the weekend Paul ran Ragnar so we got lots of quality time together.

They flew in late on a Wednesday evening and after a little late night chat, we all went to sleep. Thursday was our relax day. The three of us went for a run around Greenlake. This was the first time that Destiny and I had ever run together and it was a lot of fun. Kevin flew on by us so he missed out on some good girl time. Thursday evening we went to dinner at the Space Needle to celebrate Destiny's 29th birthday (one week early). It was a delicious meal and a beautiful evening to take in the city.

On Friday we picked up destiny's friend Melany who bussed it up to Seattle from Portland. From there our day was pretty epic: Pike Place Market, Kerry Park, Volunteer Park, Fremont Troll, and Gasworks. After dinner, a glass of wine and some R&R was needed!

Here are a few photo highlights!

 Sister's getting ready for dinner at the Needle

 Destiny & Kevin

Destiny & Kevin on the Needle

Kevin enjoying the seafood at the market

Kevin on the Troll

Trying to be cute!

Poor Man's Space Needle at Volunteer Park

 Destiny & Kevin from the Ferry - On our way to Bainbridge Island

Love this beautiful city!

{Camping Season}

Nothing says summer like camping! Paul likes to tell people that I didn’t start to like camping until we were married. Which as I have told him a million times isn’t true! Camping is practically in my blood. Every summer in Alaska consisted of camping and fishing. You can always count on me to be into something that allows me to sit around read, not have any chores to do, and puts me close to water!

When I moved to Seattle, I stopped camping. No one in my friend circle seemed to camp, no one had supplies; it just wasn’t part of the norm. In 2011 Paul and I went out for our first camping trip and it was a blast AND a learning experience. For instance, flashlights or headlamps are very important when it gets dark. Whoops!

This summer we’re trying to pack in as much time in the tent as possible in between house guests!  We’ve gone up to Larrabee State Park twice now, once with friends and once to celebrate our anniversary. In the next month and a half we’re heading to Lake Wenatchee and Deception Pass State Park to finish off camping season.

I love camping because we can sit around and be lazy, read, play games, throw the ball with Charlie, and just relax without feeling like we should be doing something around the house. It is a guilt free mini vacation! I still require that we camp near water, but that is really to oblige the dog!

 

Here are a few snap shots of our beautiful view at Larrabee State Park.

 

Beautiful view

 

Our buddy Charlie having a great time throwing the ball to Charlie

Watching the sun go down

Obligatory Family Photo

 

{Forever Friends}

I feel that I can safely say friendships ebb and flow throughout life. I think the older I get, the harder this lesson is. I want to find people to invest wholly in, be invested in and know these friendships will be forever friends. I realize though that there are so many barriers to making friendships last a lifetime.

I am blessed to have a lifetime friendship with my dear friend Raena. When we met in the 5th or 6th grade I think we were what you would call "frenemies" And then somewhere in Junior high we started becoming friends. In high school our friendship was solidified through our coming to Faith together in a local youth group. In fact, all those years ago, it was a phone call from Raena inviting me to church that started this faith Journey.

In college we visited one another and wrote each other often. I still keep my container of letters from Raena. Since our early 20's, life has taken us in different, time consuming directions: grad school programs, marriage, children and life in general. We don't pick up the phone often, we email only a few times a year, and letters... well do Christmas cards count?

The cool part is that Raena and I have such a shared history and years of friendship, that it feels that we just pick up where we left off. I can be open, honest, and authentic with her.

I was super blessed earlier this month that Raena took her first vacation out of Alaska in a long time to come to Seattle with her daughter Haven. My favorite highlights were our quality conversations, laughing together, reminiscing, and of course seeing how taken Haven was with Paul.

Here are some photos from our visit!

Enjoying Kerry Park

Enjoying the 4th of July at the Zoo! 

The easiest way to get a toddler from Point A to Point B

 Sometimes a little hand holding is needed!

Happy Haven at Molly Moon's

When Charlie had to sit, Haven felt like she had to sit too! 

This included when we stopped at street corners.

A little Monkey time before we head to the airport.

Our farewell photo! 

Thank you Raena for blessing me with so many years of friendship!